Back on the bench

We all have ups and downs, but it's all about our attitude, especially when it comes to the downs.

Just as I thought I had the all clear it turns out I have a lung infection. Sucks. As Mr V puts it - just another thing to add to the list, tackle and get over. So regarding training I am 'back on the bench'.

So I will make good use of my athlete mentality; rest, recover and look forward to being back in the game.

As a good friend of mine said at the beginning of this year "2013 will be the hardest year yet, but if you survive that, then 2014 will be awesome." How true those words are!

So here's to those going through some frustrating times... Keep your head held up high and look for the positives.

Through the donut... and beyond...

Into the donut we go

So last Friday was my first journey into the donut again after surgery.  Pretty much 3 months after my first scan, when Lionel showed up.

It was an interesting experience as having a CT scan isn't painful (unless you count the infuse and the yukky dye being injected into you at full force, which really isn't that pleasant).  But rather than painful it is quite emotional, or at least that was my conclusion when I was lying there.  It musters up quite a few feelings (Am I cured?  Am I healthy?  Has the cancer gone anywhere else?  What else might they find?)

Amazing how this piece of machinery (which is pretty impressive to say the least) and the sterile room can bring back so many memories which seem so distant yet so close at the same time.  Just weird, as last time I was lying there I was this happy go lucky (naive) person thinking "What are you guys on about my kidney's for?  They are fine".  So it was a strange feeling being back in there after so much had happened,  physically and emotionally.

I could have done with some music really (Prince please), but it's only 15-20 mins of breathing in, holding your breath and breathing out so it was over quite quickly.

I know it won't be my last time in there so I just have to make peace and friends with the CT machine - I may have to give it a name (Belinda?)  The positive is that they are keeping a watchful eye over you and anything that is abnormal will be seen sooner rather than later, and that is a reassuring feeling (especially after big old Lionel was found at a late and advanced stage).

Restless weekend

I apologize to my hubby and son for my crabbiness this past weekend.  Mum and stepdad knew what was up and how I was feeling so gave me the space I needed to deal with it in my own way.  Pretty much nerves, not knowing what to do with myself or my emotions and general restlessness.  I feel good, I feel healthy, really healthy... but I did before the last scan too - so I guess that played on my mind.  What if, even after the surgery and feeling totally healthy, that the cancer was still there or back?  I just wanted results that would give me the all clear, which I needed to move forward.

Results day

Before we even got our coats off the Surgeon happily said, "Your scan looks good - all clear" - what a bloody relief! Mr V and I let out a huge sigh of relief.  I thought I would have cried in all honesty, but I guess the couple of tears shed on the weekend were already the release that I needed.   So I sit here with my heart and soul filled with joy and happiness that I am cancer free forever thankful to the Surgeon, Specialist and hospital who have saved my life.  What a feeling.  Life can change in an instant.  There are things we have control over and things we don't and that is this crazy place called life but I vow to take this so called life by both hands, a curious head and a happy heart.

#FUcancer friends

I am happy to have met some great people via social media who are now friends.  We have gone through kidney cancer; sharing feelings, stories and notes has been therapy in itself.
A few of them have just had their scans and are awaiting results, so I am sending positive vibes their way!

Now and beyond...

As to how I feel now? Relieved.  Thankful.  Lucky.  Grateful.  Emotional.  Still a little restless in all honesty - it's time to put this chapter behind me and move on.  My body is probably as healthy as it's ever been, now onto healing the mind.  I found this, below, which pretty much sums it all up.

So happy that my story isn't over yet ;)

Where does motivation come from? Simply put - YOU!

Happy weekend!

Hope you are all having a smashing one so far.  I had a case of early morning inspiration, so at 4.30AM, got up, turned on my laptop and wrote the newest blog post for our Get Fox Fit website.

You can check it out here.

And remember it is never too late (or too early as was my case this morning) to accomplish something you want ;)

Pumpkin and garlic soup

It's autumn... That means pumpkins!

Today's soup - pumpkin and garlic.

Cooking time: 35 mins. 15 mins prep and 20 mins cooking

Ingredients:
1 large onion
8 cloves of garlic
1.5 kilo pumpkin
1 spoon coconut oil
Salt and pepper

How:
Cut up all your veggies.
Heat the coconut oil and "fry" the I onion and garlic for 3-5 mins.
Add the pumpkin and cook for 5 mins
Add 750 ML water and let it simmer for a further 10 mins
Take off the heat and using a brand held blender whizzzz into a creamy consistency.

Voila - ready to eat. Enjoy!

Athlete (not patient) mentality

It started with food and now it's a case of 'getting back on my feet'; building strength, endurance and stamina whilst de-stressing the mind.

When I was diagnosed the Dr told me "No gymming" - I was crushed.  It was the first thing on my mind that I thought could get me through this, but Ok, under Dr's orders I stayed away.

There are 2 occasions that come to mind in that period of knowing I had cancer and that I wasn't allowed to lift a weight or jog.

1) I was in the supermarket and saw a cute girl in her workout clothes and colored Nike's. My heart sank - I wanted to be her.  Fit, healthy and either going to / or coming from the gym.  I wanted nothing more than to have what she had, not this stupid cancer that was attacking my body and staying firmly attached to my kidney.

2) One night whilst doing the dishes, I just had enough - I needed to get out the house and 'feel' like I was doing something in the right direction of getting better.  So off I went to put on my headphones, gym clothes, Nike Free's and went for a walk... past my gym.  I lovingly looked through the windows from afar (the other side of the street) and I just longed to be in there, lifting some iron, trying another pull up and doing something that could help my body fight this battle.

It's funny how you REALLY want something that you can't have.  Well these 2 occasions taught me a very valuable lesson:

Remember these moments when you walk back into the gym!  After surgery, when the Dr gives you the go ahead, then go for it 100% (not 80% or 99%) - you are stronger than you give yourself credit for so seize the time that you have.  If you really want something then go for it.  The body can achieve what the mind conceives, so get in there and kick some a**!  

Which brings us to the present day.  I wasn't allowed to 'work out' until the 6-8 week mark, so last week (at 6.5 weeks post surgery) it was time to visit my 2nd home, the gym.  I feel very passionate about the gym / fitness and truly believe it is a VERY essential part of my recovery and I see it as a place where I can free my mind of stress, breath and let go whilst build a fit, strong and toned body.

Not only that but the support and encouragement that I have received from my 'gym buddies' has been overwhelming.  As one of them said, "If you didn't tell me I would never have known" which just goes to show you never know who is fighting a battle or what they have / are going through.  I remember seeing a few guys at our gym who had huge scars on their heads (which I think may be tumor / mass / cancer related) and I remember thinking "Those are some rad guys kicking whatever did that to them's ass!"  I had so much respect for them and that is how I feel when I make the choice to go to the gym and work on my recovery.  It is now my time to get strong (mentally and physically).

Since the diagnosis I found therapy in writing and now it is time for my therapy to expand to the gym.  A place where I can truly listen to my body and a place where I can build a strong physique and mind to last me a lifetime :)

So this leads me to the next thing... a new blog and a new goal.  It is a way of combining my 2 therapies - writing and fitness and is something that Mr V and I are extremely excited to do together.

Before the diagnosis we wanted to train and compete in a contest together.  We both love the sport and it's just awesome to do it together whilst having fun as a couple.  Since earlier in the year it has been our intention to start a blog together that will focus on fitness, clean eating, healthy living, workouts, the journey to the contest stage and how to combine that with having a family and 'health issues'.

Yes we may be training for a contest but essentially we are training for life!  This is not something that we want to do for just 1-2 years, but something we want to sustain for a healthy life that we can spend together with each other and our son.  Building a better, healthier, future for us all.

Yes standing on stage will be a new experience for me.  But I'm determined to follow through with this goal and show people that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.  In my case stand on stage after you have had cancer, with one kidney and hypothyroidism.

You have to grab life with both hands and this is the next step in my recovery and our journey forward together.

#FitForLife
#TrainingForLife
#BuildingStrength
#Recovery
#FitFamily

For those interested, here is our new blog:  http://getfoxfit.wordpress.com/

I thought the below photo was apt for this post.  Taken whilst walking to the hospital for surgery.  As you can see - clearly dressed to take on the operation as an 'athlete' in my work out clothes, Nike Free's and with my gym bag :)

I will continue to keep and update this blog as I have numerous posts that I still want to publish but need some work... so this blog will stay too.  However if you are more interested in clean eating and fitness you may want to head over to: http://getfoxfit.wordpress.com/

Apple, Carrot & Celery Juice

Can't believe I haven't gotten into veg & fruit juices sooner.

New fav: 1 x apple, 1 x carrot and 2 x celery sticks - 1/3 glass filtered water.

Blend. Enjoy.

BTW click here for more Clean Eating recipes, ideas and resources.

For those who are interested in the difference between juicing and blending (like me), I found the following.  

A little reminder